@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
