covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize