Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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