I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you never un-have a 4some
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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