i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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