My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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