Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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