Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize