He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
