Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize