And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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