Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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