Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
