Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
