But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
