It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
