Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
