dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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