I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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