Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
