Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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