So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
