How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
