I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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