No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
