dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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