AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
