Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
