That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
