We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want a musical about memes.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
