I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
