i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
