Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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