Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
