i think i have herpe
just one?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i think my cat just said my name.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
