So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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