A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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