if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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