insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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