Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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