I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize