I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
