so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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