I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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