Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He literally asked permission to hit on me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
