So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
