I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
