Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
