Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize