Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
