i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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