Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I would fuck him just for his dog
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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