I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
