Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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