My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
