Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
