just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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