This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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