I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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