did you get engaged???
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
