Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
