Already got asked if we're dating
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
