If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
