Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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