sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
