i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize