I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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