I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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