She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize