am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
