I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
